What is pain and why do we experience it?
Like the question of evil, pain is the subject of much
discussion. It is one of the arguments skeptics wrestle with regarding the
existence of God. The question is usually in the form of, “If God exists, why
is there evil/pain?” Many times, the follow up question is, “How can a loving
God cause or allow so much evil/pain?” There is not an easy answer, especially
for someone who is experiencing a great deal of pain. For the Christian,
flippant answers should never be given.
Many times, well-meaning Christians
will try to answer when they have never even truly thought about it. Consider Job’s
friends. They had no idea what Job was going through or why. They did good the
first few days as they sat in silence and simply hurt with him. Once they
opened their mouths, accusations and criticism began, and bad advice followed.
Job was a righteous man and was experiencing unthinkable pain, but his wife and
friends ignorantly worked to tear him down even further.
Many apologists and theologians address this issue in
what is called a theodicy. A theodicy,
as defined by Merriam-Webster, is a, “defense of God's goodness
and omnipotence in view of the existence of evil.” It
often begins with the fall of man back in the garden of Eden. But how does this
help a parent who has just lost their infant? If they are a Christian, they
already know this. What they are wrestling with is, “why me if God really loves
me and I am living my life for Him? It doesn’t matter if they already know why
God allows it. They are facing a dark night of the soul and they don’t feel God’s
love or presence right now. They are trying to make sense of all this and when
you have lost a child (or whatever cataclysmic event it might be), you need
assurance that God has not abandoned you.
Perhaps the better question would be, “How is God going
to use this for His glory and give me comfort when my heart has been ripped out
of my chest?” If you arrived on the scene of an accident and someone had
literally had their arm ripped off, would you begin to explain that this is a
result of a fallen world that goes back to the garden? Certainly not! At least
I hope not. I have been at the scene of many accidents and I have never
witnessed this. What I have witnessed is people addressing the wound, calling
for help, trying to calm the person, etc. So why do we not address the heart
wound like we address the physical wound? What good would it do to explain to
someone the physical aspects of losing their arm as they bleed to death? Likewise,
what good is it to explain why evil/pain exists to a person who has a heart and
soul wound?
I say ashamedly, I think the reason is ignorance and
apathy. If we haven’t suffered ourselves, we have never given much thought to
addressing the pain of others. I was talking to a young woman who is struggling
in her marriage and she asked me why I would spend my time talking to her and
others about their pain. I responded, “I think He (God) allowed my pain so
that my heart would be tender towards others who are hurting. It's kind of hard
to understand if you haven't been there yourself.” This is referred to as being
a “wounded healer” by the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC).
I believe God allows many of us to suffer to build our
faith and dependence upon Him while preparing us to share with others the hope
that comes from Him. When we learn, first hand, how He can restore us through
our worst nightmares, we can be a powerful tool to reach not only believers but
non-believers as well. Jesus was the master teacher in how to reach out to the
hurting. He never made excuses or talked about man’s fall in the garden. He
wept at Lazarus’ grave. Why? Didn’t He know that Lazarus would enter into the
Father’s presence? Could He not have explained this to Mary and Martha?
Consider the woman at the well. She had sinned against
God. What could be more grievous to God (Jesus)? Yet He gently ministered to
her need. He made it about her, not Himself. He never condoned her sin but He
didn’t harp on it. He showed her a future hope and restoration. This is what
made a difference in my life. When I accepted that He knew best and could use
my brokenness, my attitude changed. You see, it was no longer about who did what
or what could I do. It was about laying my burdens before Him and trusting Him
that He would do everything He could to bring about the most good in a bad
situation.
I began to read and study my Bible with a new fervor. I
jotted down hundreds, maybe thousands of Bible verses on index cards. I often
returned to them when I needed strength. I wore holes in the carpet with my
knees. In my greatest anguish, I most felt God’s love. It wasn’t enjoyable, but
I wouldn’t trade that experience. Now, when I tell someone of the hope that
comes through Christ, in our weakest moment, I speak from experience. I also
understand that what a hurting soul needs is love and compassion, not judgment
and condemnation. Many times, when a person begins to understand His love
through their pain, like me, they naturally want to be closer to Him and they
begin to look at how they have hurt Him (sin) and they truly repent.
Luke tells us about a woman who was a sinner. In that day,
she should have been stoned, according to Jewish Law. She faced ultimate shame
when she approached Jesus and anointed His feet in front of a room full of
pious Jewish men. Jesus responded by saying, “
“Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you
gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and
wiped them with the hair of her
head. You gave Me
no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. You did not
anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I
say to you, her sins, which are many,
are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”
-Luke 7:44-47
May we learn from Jesus how to address those who are
broken hearted and share with them the hope that is found in Christ Jesus.
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