“Pain”

What is pain and why do we experience it?

Like the question of evil, pain is the subject of much discussion. It is one of the arguments skeptics wrestle with regarding the existence of God. The question is usually in the form of, “If God exists, why is there evil/pain?” Many times, the follow up question is, “How can a loving God cause or allow so much evil/pain?” There is not an easy answer, especially for someone who is experiencing a great deal of pain. For the Christian, flippant answers should never be given. 

Many times, well-meaning Christians will try to answer when they have never even truly thought about it. Consider Job’s friends. They had no idea what Job was going through or why. They did good the first few days as they sat in silence and simply hurt with him. Once they opened their mouths, accusations and criticism began, and bad advice followed. Job was a righteous man and was experiencing unthinkable pain, but his wife and friends ignorantly worked to tear him down even further.

Many apologists and theologians address this issue in what is called a theodicy. A theodicy, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is a, “defense of God's goodness and omnipotence in view of the existence of evil.” It often begins with the fall of man back in the garden of Eden. But how does this help a parent who has just lost their infant? If they are a Christian, they already know this. What they are wrestling with is, “why me if God really loves me and I am living my life for Him? It doesn’t matter if they already know why God allows it. They are facing a dark night of the soul and they don’t feel God’s love or presence right now. They are trying to make sense of all this and when you have lost a child (or whatever cataclysmic event it might be), you need assurance that God has not abandoned you.

Perhaps the better question would be, “How is God going to use this for His glory and give me comfort when my heart has been ripped out of my chest?” If you arrived on the scene of an accident and someone had literally had their arm ripped off, would you begin to explain that this is a result of a fallen world that goes back to the garden? Certainly not! At least I hope not. I have been at the scene of many accidents and I have never witnessed this. What I have witnessed is people addressing the wound, calling for help, trying to calm the person, etc. So why do we not address the heart wound like we address the physical wound? What good would it do to explain to someone the physical aspects of losing their arm as they bleed to death? Likewise, what good is it to explain why evil/pain exists to a person who has a heart and soul wound?

I say ashamedly, I think the reason is ignorance and apathy. If we haven’t suffered ourselves, we have never given much thought to addressing the pain of others. I was talking to a young woman who is struggling in her marriage and she asked me why I would spend my time talking to her and others about their pain. I responded, “I think He (God) allowed my pain so that my heart would be tender towards others who are hurting. It's kind of hard to understand if you haven't been there yourself.” This is referred to as being a “wounded healer” by the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC).

I believe God allows many of us to suffer to build our faith and dependence upon Him while preparing us to share with others the hope that comes from Him. When we learn, first hand, how He can restore us through our worst nightmares, we can be a powerful tool to reach not only believers but non-believers as well. Jesus was the master teacher in how to reach out to the hurting. He never made excuses or talked about man’s fall in the garden. He wept at Lazarus’ grave. Why? Didn’t He know that Lazarus would enter into the Father’s presence? Could He not have explained this to Mary and Martha?

Consider the woman at the well. She had sinned against God. What could be more grievous to God (Jesus)? Yet He gently ministered to her need. He made it about her, not Himself. He never condoned her sin but He didn’t harp on it. He showed her a future hope and restoration. This is what made a difference in my life. When I accepted that He knew best and could use my brokenness, my attitude changed. You see, it was no longer about who did what or what could I do. It was about laying my burdens before Him and trusting Him that He would do everything He could to bring about the most good in a bad situation.

I began to read and study my Bible with a new fervor. I jotted down hundreds, maybe thousands of Bible verses on index cards. I often returned to them when I needed strength. I wore holes in the carpet with my knees. In my greatest anguish, I most felt God’s love. It wasn’t enjoyable, but I wouldn’t trade that experience. Now, when I tell someone of the hope that comes through Christ, in our weakest moment, I speak from experience. I also understand that what a hurting soul needs is love and compassion, not judgment and condemnation. Many times, when a person begins to understand His love through their pain, like me, they naturally want to be closer to Him and they begin to look at how they have hurt Him (sin) and they truly repent.

Luke tells us about a woman who was a sinner. In that day, she should have been stoned, according to Jewish Law. She faced ultimate shame when she approached Jesus and anointed His feet in front of a room full of pious Jewish men. Jesus responded by saying, “

“Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.” -Luke 7:44-47

May we learn from Jesus how to address those who are broken hearted and share with them the hope that is found in Christ Jesus.

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Ethical Behavior…

1.    ethics plural in form but singular or plural in construction :  the discipline dealing with what is good and bad and with moral duty and obligation   2a :  a set of moral principles :  a theory or system of moral values * the present-day materialistic ethic * an old-fashioned work ethic —often used in plural but singular or plural in construction * an elaborate ethics * Christian ethics b ethics plural in form but singular or plural in construction :  the principles of conduct governing an individual or a group * professional ethics c :  a guiding philosophy  d :  a consciousness of moral importance * forge a conservation ethic  3 ethics plural :  a set of moral issues or aspects (such as rightness) * debated the ethics of human cloning                                                   

                    https://www.merriam-ebster.com/dictionary/ethics

Many today, including some scholars, question the validity of truth claims. They argue: “what might be right for you might not be right for me; does truth exists, is there really absolute truth?”

If there is no absolute truth, ethics, at best, can only be a set of guidelines imposed by a family, business, school, religion, or some other such organization. If this be the case and we belong to any such group but hold the opinion that absolute truth does not exist, even if we agree to the terms set forth, say to an employer, are we unethical if we do not live up to the standard we agreed to? No. There is no truth to be accountable for and since there is no truth, ethics are nothing more than a human construct. Sadly, this way of thinking is common today. We see this played out, almost daily, in the media and perhaps in our own little corner of the world.

Do we expect our children to obey us? If their truth does not match our truth, what right do we have to enforce our will on them? Can we really argue that we are right or know what is best for them? When a college professor demands that students not cheat, is he or she within their right? What difference does it make anyway when the goal is to obtain a degree so that a high paying job can be gained? I suggest that this mindset is clearly a picture of total chaos. BUT, is it intentional?

Let me skip now to the purpose of my writing. Yesterday I was confronted with a situation that I would consider falling under unethical behavior. A supervisor, who demands his employees adhere strictly to a code of ethics, not only violated a company policy, he stomped it to pieces. His wrongful actions hurt an employee financially. His supervisors are aware that this is the “norm” for him but since he is close to retirement, they allow it. What message does this send to the existing employees, worse yet, new employees? Is it okay to violate the company’s work ethic after so many years of service or based on who you are or who you know? If this is so, the rules only apply to some and not others. But who decides? What if a new hire decides that they can violate the ethics code as long as they don’t get caught? If they do get caught, who has the right to judge them? Are they not practicing what they are being taught?

I think the word that fits here is hypocrisy.    

Consider this: Would you desire the following people to have been ethical in their training, experience, and practice?

Your doctor?

Airline pilot?

Police officer?

Banker?

Real estate agent?

Auto mechanic?

Baby sitter?

A judge?

If we expect these people to adhere to a moral or ethical standard but do not believe we should live up to the same standard, are we not hypocrites as well?

Suppose we get robbed in front of a group of witnesses. When the case goes to trial, the witnesses and the accused lie under oath. Who are we to judge them? Their truth may not align with ours but it is their truth. Maybe the witnesses fear retaliation. They have no moral or ethical obligation to do what we think they should. The judge, who they have never met, should have no expectation of them to be honest, that is simply his truth.

You see, if there is no absolute truth, no morality, no ethical standard, we can be denied justice. Our whole system will collapse around us.

We cannot control what others do but we can live up to a higher standard and practice good moral and ethical behavior. What we do, not what we say, will form the minds and hearts of our children. Is this not what we want for our children?

A View of Sin...

There are countless numbers of differences between myself and God and that goes without saying. As I was praying, a thought came to my mind that I have never considered before: I love my children beyond measure, there is nothing I would not do for them. However, if I look at my children sinning, even if I could see their deepest and darkest sins, how would I respond? Most likely I would be hurt, angry, and/or judgmental. I would still love them unconditionally but I would pass judgement on them nonetheless in my heart and mind. In simply viewing them exercise their freedom of choice, I would most likely sin myself.

Let me explain this briefly. Their actions might affect me because what they do contrasts with my values. I may even consider how their actions could embarrass me if ever exposed, “what would others think?” This is pride on my part. I may wish to correct them and as a parent, it is my role to help guide them but I could be overly critical and hurt them deeply. Children need to know their parents love them no matter what. 

Perhaps their actions would violate beliefs I hold as sacred and therefore, I may become angry. While sin should offend us, it should be based on its offense toward God and not ourselves, we should hate the sin while loving the sinner, unconditionally! If our anger is motivated by how the action affects us, we sin. This is self-righteousness.

I hope you get the point of where I am going with this.   

  

One huge difference between God and me is He sees every sin, mine, yours, and everyone else’s. 

Not only does He see every sin, even those we think are most hidden, but He does not sin in the process. Sin is anything that violates God’s Law. I know many at this point will say, “here we go with all the things we can’t do because God says so,” but if you honestly look at the things that God does restrict, you will find that they really benefit us (I will try to follow up quickly with some examples and post soon). It is to our own detriment not to at least look at this before making a judgment.

God sees our every sin and while it hurts and offends Him, He still loves us unconditionally!         

I don’t think He cares what others will think or how this might have a negative effect on Him; I absolutely believe He cares more about how it will hurt us. If we are saved, we are already forgiven but our sins can lead us away from the close, personal, intimate relationship that He longs for. If you are a parent, you know how you desire a close relationship with your child. Parents who have kids in college or the military really understand this.

For the lost, those who have rejected Christ, God hurts because you hurt worse. I know this may be hard to grasp if you don’t know Him but it’s true. How many of us want to see our child killed in a car accident, die of an overdose, or die at the hands of a mugger? Hopefully no parent desires this for their child; God certainly does not. His desire, why He made us, is so that He will be surrounded by scores of children that He loves and they in turn, love Him back. Is this not what we as parents want?        

Baby Skunks and Children

     There is an old story I’ve heard for most of my life. Our pastor shared it this morning and I immediately thought of another application. I don’t know who told it originally but it goes something like this:

One day a mother looked out the window and saw her children playing with some baby skunks which they thought they were kittens. Horrified, the mother began to yell for her children to run so they picked up the baby skunks and ran.

     Unfortunately, we in the church are much like this well-intentioned mom. When we share Christ with others, we fail to give important details. Whether we fear offending or simply lack knowledge ourselves, we fail to explain that becoming a Christian means turning away from our sins. This is called repentance and it means to go in a 180-degree direction from the path we were on. For many, they do not realize that this means leaving their old sinful lifestyle behind or even faulty beliefs. Like the children picking up the baby skunks, they bring their sinful lifestyle and faulty beliefs with them. The children did not understand that their mother’s intent was to run away from the skunks, mainly the mother skunk that would not be far away. The threat was the skunks but they did not have this piece of information and likewise, sin is the threat the new believer needs to run from but they don’t have this little nugget of information.

     If we are going to share Jesus with others, we need to give them the whole picture, not a watered-down version. Every believer is called to share Christ but we have the obligation to be completely forthright. If you are a believer who wants to share your faith with others, study so that you know what you believe and will have the knowledge to share. Then pray! God will guide you in what you should say but prayer is the most important thing you can do. After all, He is the one who speaks to the heart. He just chooses us to be His instruments. If possible, try building a relationship so that you can disciple the person. Get to know them and as the relationship grows, so does your understanding of what the person believes. Walk beside them, not in front of or behind them and always be sincere.

May God richly bless you as you reach out to others for the kingdom~  

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